This morning Ruby flushed an entire roll of toilet paper down the toilet, completely clogging it. Then she ran around singing "I broke the potty!" I was so glad Jeff was not home to see that little display, because when he did get home he was frustrated as hell.
Also, when my back was turned while we were painting, she upended the water bowl( for the brushes) and emptied a jar of glitter on her paper.
"The paper was thirsty."
"No, it wasn't." I said, annoyed.
"You don't know."
She has a point.
When Jeff came home, we stole a few minutes lying on the bed together, exhausted.
"It never stops." I sighed.
"I told you! I have to have a baby, you said.We'll travel, we'll still be fun,we'll be those cool parents who hike mountains with the kid in the organic Baby Bjorn. Ha!"
"I blame you." I said.
"I blame your friend Erica, she makes it look so easy."
"Yeah, F her. She has two and she's always smiling."
"Maybe she's on drugs."Jeff smiled.
Then we heard the pitter patter of Ruby's little feet.
"She's coming," Jeff whispered.
"Be still, maybe she won't see us." We hid under the covers, but were discovered anyway.
Later, Jeff got on the roof because that is somehow connected to something with the toilet. Don't ask me. In a heroic feat of bravery, he flipped his body over the rain gutters and hopped like a Chinese acrobat across the slated side of the roof.
"Remember that guy who climbed his roof and fell on the fence! He impaled his spleen!"
"You could just call a plumber!Think about your spleen!" I called.
"It will cost a thousand dollars!" he yelled.
"So will your co-pay when you tip backwards onto the neighbor's gazebo!"
But he persisted, and found out that the real cause of the toilet clog was a birds nest in the roof-part of the toilet(I DON"T KNOW)
I was very impressed. I would have just called a plumber. he even managed to get down without shattering any bones, spleen intact.
"Sorry Ruby, it wasn't you."
She looked disappointed. Then she looked up at the sky.
"The moon follows me wherever I go!" she laughed at this."Well, hello moon! How are you?"
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