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Saturday, October 24, 2009

इ'म नोट psychic

I got a free gallon of that horrible pink Disney paint yesterday because I complained at Home Depot.
"This mouse paint is ass." I hefted what was left onto the table and tried to look mean and customer-y at the clerk.
He just laughed.
"Let me give you some more." he said.
"Why would I want more ass paint?"
"All I can do is give you a free gallon."
"Okay." And now I have slightly less hatred for Mickey Mouse and a LOT of pink paint.

Today we move our furniture over to the new house, the Big day-you know the day you move the Beds and the Sofa. I'm not sure how this is going to go. Ruby was up every half an hour puking into a towel. Every time we move someone gets sick.
I'm somewhat paranoid about the flu this year. An eighteen month old baby died from H1N1 .05 miles from my house ( I mapquested it) two months ago. Two weeks ago a five year old died, from which flu they dont know, but it doesn't really matter anyway.In my house flu=freak out.

In fact I'm only writing about this because I am trying to reverse call it. The theory being that if you call something out-it won't happen because the bad things that happen are never what you worry about-always something completely out of the blue.

"Oh,"you think."I always worried about knife wielding strangers. I SHOULD have worried about getting hit by a bus."

If you reverse call something-if you say it out loud-really what are the chances that it will happen? Jesus, I'm not psychic or anything. I can't predict tomorrow's events. I'm not that woman in that mystery show that is always waking up suddenly in the middle of the night gasping and grabbing her husbands arm because she saw the murder about to happen.( We call that show 'Lunesta")

So you're safe. At least on that one. Watch out for the bus.


  1. i'm freaked out about the flu too... (attn. universe..that's my call out!)

  2. New baby due in ten days, a three year old at home, not enough vaccine for us (hello, we are screaming high priority)...add me to the freaked out list!

  3. 1.) I have learned, over the years, to derive deep satisfaction from getting free stuff for complaining at businesses.

    2.) I have definitely experienced the calling out theory at work. Too bad we can't pick our problems. Like, I'd rather go bald than go broke.

  4. wow Alexis-you are so much less vain than I am-I would definitely pick broke over bald. men with the bald can be sexy, women totally bald, no good. And kate-there is a product sold at Whole Foods called Sambucol,(or online I bet) it was developed by a virologist from Sweden, its been tested and proven to be a super effective anti viral agent and it's safe for kids, its actually made from elderberry syrup( weird, I know, but it seems to work) take a teaspoon full every day ( or a pint with a vodka shot if you're neurotic like our household)