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Monday, August 4, 2008

Supertowel

Ruby has declared all pieces of fabric to be "towels". Blankets, pillowcases, Jeffs underwear, actual towels--all towels. Actually, to be completely accurate, they are Her towels, so that it's somewhat difficult to fold or wear anything without feeling the tug of freakishly strong little fingers and hearing an outraged "MAH TOWEL MOMMY!" There is the casual Day towel that is used to spread peanut butter onto my floor( " RUBY CLEANING,MOMMY!")and then there is the almost holy, continously rotating designation of Night-Night Towel. If the dog lays down on a blanket, or someone were to furtively toss a filthy scrap of fabric into the washing machine, chances are a wail reminiscent of a state funeral procession will go up somewhere in my house.
Which is why I was intrigued this morning when listening to my stories a commercial came on for the SuperTowel. This towel is magically absorbent, as they showed me by spilling something and allowing the towel to soak it up. I was told that this towel was A MUST for anyone who washes their car( I do!) or buys paper towels( What a waste!)The commercial showed Olympic swimmers drying themselves quickly and efficiently with this magnificent Towel.
I was finally convinced of the superior nature of the Supertowel when the announcer said," And it's made in Germany folks, so you know it has to be good!"
A flash of beautific Aryan children in Heidi braids singing as they wove my Towel high in the sunny Alps, resting for cups of steaming choclate, the lambs they sheared for my 20 dollar SuperTowel still lounging beside them.
This would be My Towel. My own Towel. I would hide it from Ruby in our sock drawer with our porn and Social Security Cards.While everyone else in the house had to use the slightly mildewed and non-absorbent towels that were made in China, I would have my own towel from the Fatherland, seperate but not equal, a Towel to end all towels. Hail the SuperTowel.